Why do so many smart, capable people struggle with sales—and what’s actually holding them back?
In this episode of Knoodle Founders Hour, host Rosaria Cain sits down with Connie Kadansky, a globally recognized sales expert and coach specializing in call reluctance and prospecting psychology—the hidden barriers that stop even experienced professionals from picking up the phone and growing their business.
Connie breaks down one of the biggest misconceptions in modern business: that content, automation, or inbound leads can replace the fundamentals of selling. Spoiler—they can’t.
Instead, she reveals what truly drives sales success—and why it starts with mindset, not tactics.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why prospecting is still the #1 driver of sales growth—and why most people avoid it
- The real reason behind call reluctance (and how to overcome it)
- How “untrue assumptions” quietly sabotage your ability to sell
- Why content marketing alone will never replace direct outreach
- The 5 characteristics of a truly qualified prospect
- How to use simple but powerful techniques like “no questions” and labeling to improve conversations
- Why sales is really just negotiation—and how to master it
- The mindset shift that turns prospecting from fear into a repeatable system
Connie also shares her own unexpected journey—from becoming call reluctant herself to building a decades-long career helping others break through the same barriers.
Whether you’re a founder, marketer, salesperson, or business leader, this episode will challenge how you think about selling—and give you practical tools to start closing more deals immediately.
If you’ve ever hesitated before making a call, avoided outreach, or felt stuck trying to generate new business—this episode will change how you approach sales forever.
Listen now and learn how to get your “ask” in gear—and finally turn opportunity into revenue.
Full Transcript:
Rosaria Cain 00:00
Welcome! We have Connie Kadansky here with us today, and Connie is a sales expert that works with people like me, and she’s going to tell you how to get your ask, that’s ask with a K, in gear. So tell me about what you do with with your sales expertise and why it’s important.
Connie Kadansky 00:21
So Rosaria, do you know how the majority of sales people struggle with prospecting, either consistently or from time to time?
Rosaria Cain 00:34
Yes, I do Connie,
Connie Kadansky 00:35
And what I do is I have a very specific, highly credible assessment tool that tells exactly what is causing that hesitation, and I can truly, genuinely coach them to be confident, consistent prospectors.
Rosaria Cain 00:57
And does that mean they can actually get sales?
Connie Kadansky 01:00
Yes.
Rosaria Cain 01:01
Ah, that’s good. So your elevator speech, you’re in an elevator. What do you tell people you do? What’s your 30 second version?
Connie Kadansky 01:11
Well, I engage them by just finding out where they are. So most people know sales people, and that people struggle with that, and I coach them. I’m a sales call reluctant coach, the only person that uses that title throughout the world, and I’m affiliated with the two behavioral scientists that own that trademark.
Rosaria Cain 01:35
That’s awesome.
Connie Kadansky 01:37
So, at the end of the day, I help people get consistent and comfortable with the prospecting component of the sales model.
Rosaria Cain 01:47
And how do you do that?
Connie Kadansky 01:49
Well, we identify what is stopping them, but in reality, what stops people from calling and making those prospecting calls? I call it contact strategy, because sometimes people are calling, sometimes they’re knocking on doors, sometimes they’re going to a networking event, so contact strategy is what stops them is there is an untrue assumption that they are living as true, and when we can get to that number one assumption and find out if it is true or not true, I can help them reframe that so that they can shift their complete mindset.
Rosaria Cain 02:39
Okay, can anyone sell?
Connie Kadansky 02:41
No.
Rosaria Cain 02:43
Okay. So there are people that can’t sell.
Connie Kadansky 02:45
Well, if they don’t want to sell, they don’t like selling, it’s like, no. I could never be an accountant. No way, no how. So there are sales people that cannot there are people that do not like sales, that cannot sell.
Rosaria Cain 03:00
I’ve hired every one of those people, and I am one of those people.
Connie Kadansky 03:05
So did they think they could sell, but they couldn’t?
Rosaria Cain 03:09
Well, they were able to sell me, Connie, that’s the thing, and I believe them every time. And the truth is, perhaps they thought they could, or they thought this type of sale would be easy, and they got in, and they found that it wasn’t quite as easy as they thought. And here’s another thing, I think there’s this myth or a truth you can dispel, or tell me what it is, but there’s this myth that content has replaced cold calls, so that if you put enough content out there, people will find your website, because Google will lead them to you, and they will call you. Truth or fiction?
Connie Kadansky 03:53
Fiction.
Rosaria Cain 03:53
Okay, because a lot of people are building giant content models and are avoiding the the rest of the process, which is the selling.
Connie Kadansky 04:05
Right, and if they think that their buyer is looking for them. Now, there is some SEO involved, etc. However, there are buyers that are ready to buy that do not read content. They’re not aware of the content. I mean, if they’re searching, they can go and so that content can help in that regard, but it does not replace prospecting. So prospecting is initiating contact with the prospective buyer and in it, in the sales model that is the first and foremost. And a qualified prospect has five characteristics. Number one, they have a problem that you can help them solve, so all selling is is solving people’s problem for a profit. Number. Two, they’re either the decision maker or the influencer. Number three, which most people really neglect, is their sense of urgency. Does the prospect have a sense of urgency? Number four, do they have the budget? And number five, can they develop trust with you? And so prospecting is initiating contact with the buyer, and then you have to be able to introduce yourself. What is the value that you bring? What is your value proposition, so to speak. And then you get to that all coveted sales conversation that most sales training, that’s where it starts.
Rosaria Cain 05:43
And so how do you get started? So you have a problem prospecting, is the phone dead?
Connie Kadansky 05:50
No.
Rosaria Cain 05:51
Because a lot of people really hesitate to pick up the phone and make an actual call.
Connie Kadansky 05:59
Well, yes, and telephobia is one of the types of call reluctance.
Rosaria Cain 06:04
I have telephobia.
Connie Kadansky 06:06
And it’s one of the easiest to overcome. Now, it is true that people are not picking up the phone like they used to. However, what is your contact strategy? So if you really want to connect with someone, you can try to call them, or email or LinkedIn, or find somebody that will introduce you or find out where they hang out. So if you’re really determined, you can, you know, I mean, there’s always exceptions, but to be able to contact that individual, if you really, really believe that they need to hear from you and know you.
Rosaria Cain 06:52
Well, that’s interesting. So can one be successful with emails? For instance, what’s the path in getting in front of someone?
Connie Kadansky 07:02
Well, do you open any of your emails that are sales oriented?
Rosaria Cain 07:06
No.
Connie Kadansky 07:08
Okay, so you just answered the question.
Rosaria Cain 07:11
Well, I look at the I do look at the subject line, and you can usually tell. And so, no, I must admit, no, I don’t.
Connie Kadansky 07:24
Well, and then there are some people that do, I mean, on LinkedIn. Boy, I wish I would really research this better. And it was a few years ago, and it was somebody at the C level of a company, and he said, I wouldn’t be derelict in my duty if I did not listen to sales people who thought they had something that I should know about. And he actually reserved a particular afternoon in the month to take sales calls because he wanted to find out, you know, because sometimes I mean sales people, they can have a solution, they can have a better product. They can have something that would be better for you, but we have to be open.
Rosaria Cain 08:12
That’s fair. So what’s best practices? Is there such a thing as best practices when doing prospecting, that can get people results?
Connie Kadansky 08:22
Well, it is really interesting that it’s a lot of it is mindset. I always tell my clients see it as an experiment. When you see it as an experiment, it’s more curious. Think about when we were in high school in biology, you would do an experiment. You’d put boiled egg, a little bit of hydrochloric acid, in a test tube, and you would observe it, and you would see it, and then you would analyze it, then you would write a paper on it. Right? With prospecting, it’s an experiment to find out what works. I have a former client that is an exceptional prospector, and he works with in the trucking and roofing industry. When he makes a cold call, which is somebody who does not know him, but he’s an expert in that particular, those fields, he will start out, introduce himself, and he’ll say, “You know what? This is a sales call, and you’re welcome at any time to tell me, No.” Do you know that there are a lot of people going, “No” and they’ll hang up. Well, he vetted them, right? Or there are some people go, “Oh my gosh, an honest salesperson. What’s going on?” and he told me that just recently, he got a really a big contract with a roofer that he just caught him at the right time, because seek prospecting is also is catching people at the right time. Where you don’t call a restaurant owner during noon, etc. But you never know what’s going on in their life. Their teenager might have wrecked the car last night. Their mother in law fell down the stairs. You don’t know. So timing is everything. I’ll tell you something, I was calling someone who would not tell me no, and he would not tell me yes. And so follow up is really critical for sales people. A lot of times, follow up is where they foul out. That follow up, that consistent, rhythmic follow up. And I said, “Do you know what? On a scale of one to 10, how likely is it that you would ever be interested?” He goes, “Uh, two.” And I said, “Why don’t I take you off my list?” He goes, “That would be nice.”
Rosaria Cain 10:52
Was he just polite?
Connie Kadansky 10:53
He would not tell me no, and so I would call him and follow up. And then I just got curious. He wasn’t interested. So also, when we’re out prospecting, people can give us counterfeit yeses, so we just have to have our radar on and test it. Are they really serious?
Rosaria Cain 11:14
No, that’s a that’s a really good point. So, now I am not an introvert, you probably know that about me, can introverts sell?
Connie Kadansky 11:24
Oh, yes, they I know introverts that can sell. But you know, in reality, one of the misconceptions of sales people is that they’re all extroverts, they all like to talk. A really good salesperson is an ambivert, because they know when to be quiet and they know when to be extroverted, so they kind of just go with the flow. And also, ambiverts are better as self reflection, so a really good salesperson will have a few of their prospecting calls, and they reflect like, what’s working, what’s not working, and they really analyze it and get better at it.
Rosaria Cain 12:11
Yeah, so I guess we’re talking about some of the misconceptions about what makes a good salesperson, what? What are those characteristics, because I seem to miss them sometimes.
Connie Kadansky 12:22
Of a good salesperson. Number one, it is they have a curiosity, and they also get some juice around engaging and influencing people. They’re exceptional lifelong learners, and they really do reflect, I mean, being a good salesperson, it is not an easy job. It’s not an easy career, but they they get really intrigued. And the number one thing too, well, there’s a lot of number one, but one of the things is they’re able to regulate their emotions. Because sales people, we can have something really, really good, and then all of a sudden the prospect goes silent. We call it cyber silence. What do you do? You think that it’s there, you think, but in reality, it wasn’t so to be able to learn and learn and also implement at the speed of instruction where and it takes practice. It takes role play, so sales people who are willing to do the nitty gritty work to be masters at what they do.
Rosaria Cain 13:42
How can someone learn this? It’s funny, you don’t go to school for sales, not really. I mean, there’s communications classes that you can take. You can go to college and major in that, but there’s not really sales courses in college. How does one learn? How does one learn to be a salesperson?
Connie Kadansky 14:02
Well, I have sales classes, and I believe that prospecting is really negotiation. Sales is negotiation. Anybody who said that has a I need or I want, it’s a negotiation. Even if that sales person says, “I want to know how satisfied you are with your current provider.” That is a negotiation. That is an I need, and so it takes practice. So there are classes, there are a few sales training companies that are doing role play. Somebody was telling me, the other day on Chat GPT, they have programmed it to actually test them in role play. So kudos to them.
Rosaria Cain 14:47
It’s amazing what AI can do. We do focus groups on AI, so it’s pretty it’s pretty intense. AI can do, anything a human can do. Well, almost anyway. Well, let’s talk first about what you started on negotiation. I know we did some work together on Chris Voss’ book, never split, is it Never Split the Difference? Do I remember that? Right? Yes, which was very interesting. Why don’t you expound on that? Because that’s certainly a big part of the sales process.
Connie Kadansky 15:20
Well, and probably the best thing I can do is give you examples. So I’m I was working with a company out of Houston, and they are battery recyclers, and they would put people on an airplane to go and see this huge warehouse full of batteries, seasoned good sales people that were just meeting with influencers, they were not meeting with the decision maker. So one of the things that we did is, “Is it asking too much to have the decision maker meet us when I’m there?” I mean, it was like, Sure. And, you know, they were able to actually land deals by that one little thing. So, and what I do is I customize it with everybody. And so it’s working them with real life, customized and the hardest negotiation technique is labeling, because you have to really feel what your prospect is, feeling and thinking and articulate it. And it takes practice.
Rosaria Cain 16:36
Give me an example of labeling.
Connie Kadansky 16:38
Of a label. So if somebody goes, I’m just so frustrated with my current provider, and it’s like, Oh, it sounds like you may be looking for a new provider, or it sounds like that you really like them, but they’re not fulfilling. You know where you you- even right now, when I’m driving away, I’m going to think of something brilliant, but that’s what happens. We just take practice over and over,
Rosaria Cain 17:11
And those are techniques that you go over with people and get them where they need to be.
Connie Kadansky 17:15
And it makes all the difference in the world. I there. There is something that that I work with, and it’s not even in Chris Voss’ book, but it’s called Proof of Life. And what it is, is when a prospect comes to you. So marketing, in my view, is a lead generation, where the the that’s what you do, the prospect is coming to them, right? Is, how do you know that there is proof of life in that particular scenario where they’re coming to you for your services, and most people make the mistake of jumping in and taking over and value proposition, when in reality, if they would just slow down and ask, you know, “What’s prompting you to look into this right now?” Okay, so they’ll tell you emotionally. And then, “How are you going to know when you’ve met the right marketing firm?” And ask them a few questions on their buying process before you ever get into finding out what their problem is, etc. Does that make sense?
Rosaria Cain 18:34
It does make sense. I think a lot of what you bring people along in it is asking the right questions at the right time.
Connie Kadansky 18:41
Right, but there’s a formula in that very first conversation, who else is involved in this decision making, right? So they don’t come back and and give you a curve ball at the end, like, oh, you know, I got to talk to my CPA, my accountant, or whatever, like that, and so you don’t know if it’s true or what, but if you really handle that first conversation of ascertaining, is there really proof? I had a financial advisor 30 years into the business, and worked with him on this, and it was very contrary to how he usually would meet with people. And we worked on it, we practiced it, and he met with somebody. He goes, he called me, goes, Connie, two hours later. DocuSign, everything’s done 3 million but he was fighting it at first, but he just kind of trusted the process and it worked.
Rosaria Cain 19:48
That’s outstanding. So what kind of categories? It sounds like? They’re so varied. I know attorneys, battery manufacturers, yeah. Tell me about the variety of clients you deal with.
Connie Kadansky 20:03
Oh, it’s just so fun. I mean, just recently, it was a individual coaching client. He was a trained attorney. Licensed. Worked at a merger acquisition integrator firm, and he was to call people, and he was like so nervous, but a lot of times it’s people who I work with where they really need to keep a strong pipeline, because they’re not a one call close. So to keep a good pipeline of where different people and then some really high end type of product, like I have a company that sells a $700,000 truck to cities. It’s a sewer vacuum truck that they don’t have to tear up their ground and barricade everything off. So their sales people have to, it’s government. They have to go to the city council meetings. You know, so they’re doing those kind of things where it’s a really high end, high dollar. And, you know, financial, electronic manufacturing firms.
Rosaria Cain 21:21
Attorneys.
Connie Kadansky 21:22
You know, I have worked with attorneys that are marketing and then they’re getting incoming calls, and who handles that incoming call? So a lot of times, people hire a marketing firm, the phones start ringing, the emails start coming through and the sales people aren’t handling them properly.
Rosaria Cain 21:44
There’s a big difference between sales and marketing.
Connie Kadansky 21:47
Oh, big difference.
Rosaria Cain 21:47
Sometimes people don’t see the nuances of the difference.
Connie Kadansky 21:52
Sales is converting.
Rosaria Cain 21:53
Right?
Connie Kadansky 21:54
Yeah.
Rosaria Cain 21:54
Right. Marketing is maybe bringing them there.
Connie Kadansky 21:57
Yeah.
Rosaria Cain 21:57
Or creating an atmosphere,
Rosaria Cain 21:59
Yes
Rosaria Cain 22:00
where it gets them.
Connie Kadansky 22:01
They’re influencing them in a big way.
Rosaria Cain 22:05
Or giving them an opinion before you initiate.
Connie Kadansky 22:08
Right?
Rosaria Cain 22:08
Yeah, no. So how do you like entrepreneurship? You’ve done this a long time. When did you decide to be in your own business? Yeah, well, it’s sticky, isn’t it?
Connie Kadansky 22:22
Well, I’m dating myself, but I was 10 years old and I had a newspaper route.
Rosaria Cain 22:27
That doesn’t surprise me
Connie Kadansky 22:29
That was my entrepreneurship, and I had to buy my box of rubber bands. And what I learned there as a newspaper person, you’re responsible. They dropped those newspapers off in my driveway. Guess what? People are waiting for their newspaper. I couldn’t go, “Oh, I don’t feel like it today.” And then the guy that ran the newspaper delivery people, he created an incentive for new subscriptions. I just thought it was fun. I just thought it was so fun. And then I sold newspaper advertising in high school. It was easy.
Rosaria Cain 23:11
For like the local paper or your school paper?
Connie Kadansky 23:14
No, it was the local county paper! And so, you know, we were well known in town. And, I mean, I made, like, $45 and it was so easy. I mean, that was way, way back then, when I just, I said, I went to a service station. I go, “Tracy, will you buy an ad?” He goes, “Sure. Which one do you want?” And I go, “That one”, it was the most expensive, he goes, “Okay,” so I had, I had good first selling experiences. So Rosaria, next time you interview a salesperson, ask them, “Tell me about your first selling experience,” because it is really important, and if they enjoyed it, that tells you they’ve got a juice for sales.
Rosaria Cain 24:00
I’m writing this down that is awesome.
Connie Kadansky 24:02
And if they lean back and moan like, “Oh, my mom took my Boy Scout cookies to her office and sold them all”
Rosaria Cain 24:11
And made me do it.
Connie Kadansky 24:12
Or, you know, I had somebody that was a high end sales guy, I go tell me about your first selling experience. And he said, “Oh, in high school, my football team, they had us out knocking on doors and selling chocolate candy bars.” He goes, “I didn’t like it,” but he goes, “I was committed to the team, and I did it because I was committed.” And now he’s a sales guy that runs a few franchises.
Rosaria Cain 24:41
And he did okay.
Connie Kadansky 24:42
He did okay.
Rosaria Cain 24:43
He did okay. So your career, were you always in your own business? Or were there some employment stops between your 10 year old self and now?
Connie Kadansky 24:55
I took a detour because. My dad asked the typing teacher, “What should Connie do when she gets out of high school?” and she goes “Court reporting!” Court reporting? So that’s why I came to Phoenix. Took me seven years. Normally takes three.
Rosaria Cain 25:15
To be a court reporter?
Connie Kadansky 25:16
Yes.
Rosaria Cain 25:16
It takes 30 years to be a court reporter?
Connie Kadansky 25:18
It takes three years, but it took me seven and I made $160 and that was the end of my court reporting career. But I went to work for attorneys that love to be able to dictate, like call you up on from their car, and I dictate my time they get there and the letters done. So I took a little detour and went to did that?
Rosaria Cain 25:43
Did you like your vacation from sales?
Connie Kadansky 25:46
Huh?
Rosaria Cain 25:46
Did you like your vacation from sales? Because you were selling before that and you were selling after that? It was kind of like a—
Connie Kadansky 25:52
Well, I mean, my mom always thought I’d be good in sales, and so, I mean, it’s kind of like, I like it.
Rosaria Cain 26:02
So when did you start your own business after the after the court reporting,
Connie Kadansky 26:06
After the court reporting, so real quick here. So my husband got us into a multi level marketing and I they gave a lot of training, and I liked it, and I prospected about 5000 people, and then I became call reluctant.
Rosaria Cain 26:24
You? The great Connie Kadansky, became call reluctant?
Connie Kadansky 26:29
I became so call reluctant.
Rosaria Cain 26:31
There might be hope for the rest of us, guys.
Connie Kadansky 26:33
And so that’s where I found the two behavioral scientists out of Dallas. So I flew to Dallas, did a three day workshop with them. Coached with one of the behavioral scientists.
Rosaria Cain 26:43
So you weren’t teaching the workshop?
Connie Kadansky 26:45
No.
Rosaria Cain 26:46
You were attending the workshop.
Connie Kadansky 26:48
I was attending.
Connie Kadansky 26:49
And so I coached with one of the behavioral scientists, and at the end of the 10 weeks, she goes, “Connie, you’re really good at this. Do you want to be one of our licensees?” And I go, “Sure!” and so I paid the licensee fee, and I’ve been doing that for 29 years.
Rosaria Cain 26:49
I just want to make sure I have this clear.
Rosaria Cain 27:06
That’s awesome. Now, was there a specific moment you decided to open your business, or was it just kind of like a gradual evolution, then a little blip into court reporting, and then a little blip into multi level marketing, and a slight detour into call reluctance, and then bam, or was there a moment? Was there, at some point, you said, “No, I want to be an entrepreneur. I am done with working for other people.”
Connie Kadansky 27:38
Well, it just naturally unfolded, magically.
Rosaria Cain 27:42
Okay.
Connie Kadansky 27:43
I did not, I am not a strategist. I’ve never done a budget as long as I’ve been in business, and I just, it just unfolded, and one thing after another, after another, after another. And I was married to a businessman that had been in business since he was 18 years old, and so it I didn’t even think of being an entrepreneur. I mean, I was just blissfully positive, and it just worked.
Rosaria Cain 28:13
That’s awesome. So tell me about some of the highs and lows as you’ve started your own business and it’s flourished, and you’re you speak all over the world. Now, I don’t know if you do that as much because of the virtual capabilities we all have, but how has it flourished for you?
Connie Kadansky 28:31
Well, one of the best decisions I made when I went into business, I joined the Phoenix Chamber of Commerce. I did not even know what a chamber of commerce was and there was a lady that worked there that really educated me, and then she invited me to be an ambassador. And I mean, before I knew it, I had a $10,000 contract with a cell phone company to train their sales people. I mean, it just worked.
Rosaria Cain 29:07
You’re like the Forest Gump of sales.
Connie Kadansky 29:09
You think so, but I didn’t overthink it.
Connie Kadansky 29:15
It just happened.
Connie Kadansky 29:15
It just happened.
Rosaria Cain 29:16
It just not a decision made. I’m gonna do this.
Connie Kadansky 29:19
Well, and then here’s interesting. And so sales people need to be visible. You must be visible. And just like my title of my, well, my subtitle of my business is “Get Your Ask in Gear.” Well, after I sold that contract to the cell phone company, I talked to the CEO of the of the chamber, Valerie, I don’t remember her last name, and I told her, she goes, “Oh my gosh, Connie, you can be our poster child.” Do you know that I got a full page ad in the Arizona Republic promoting the Phoenix chamber. So it’s kind of like, I just felt like I live under a lucky star.
Rosaria Cain 30:04
That’s great. So you work with a lot of founders, a lot of business owners. What characteristics make a good leader? I’m sure you’ve been and, of course, in your own business, you being a great leader, even if you fell into it, you’re still a great leader. What are those characteristics that really make a good leader shine?
Connie Kadansky 30:25
I think a good leader is so intelligent that they tell the truth, and also a good leader will invest in their employees’ personal and professional development, and also a good leader is somebody that not only asks and tells their employee what to do, they’ll ask the really imperative question, “What do you need to get that done?” And that kind of puts the bow on the present of getting a commitment, and then a good leader calls out disrespectful behavior quickly. They do not ignore it. And that’s what I believe.
Rosaria Cain 31:20
And you’ve seen this firsthand.
Connie Kadansky 31:22
Oh yeah.
Rosaria Cain 31:23
What gets in the way of a good business leader?
Connie Kadansky 31:29
They’re too busy to stop and think. So they have ideas, but you know, Warren Buffett, he said “One of the most important things I do almost daily is I allow myself space to think.” And if business owners would do that, they’re not as impulsive. Their decision makers are much better. But think about it right now, there are so many things coming at a business owner or a leader that they lose that and they pay the price.
Rosaria Cain 32:06
Now, we were talking the other day that you coach people on thinking, tell me what that looks like.
Connie Kadansky 32:14
Well as a—
Rosaria Cain 32:15
So do it to me right now. Let’s demonstrate.
Connie Kadansky 32:18
Oh, okay, well, what I was saying is, so Rosaria, what’s a challenge that you have?
Rosaria Cain 32:27
New business.
Connie Kadansky 32:28
New business. And so what I would do is, I would say, I’ll fast track it, but get you talking about new business. And then what might be you assuming that is stopping you from focusing on new business?
Rosaria Cain 32:46
That no one wants to buy from me.
Connie Kadansky 32:50
Okay, so that is and what else might you be assuming?
Rosaria Cain 32:56
Well, when you make cold calls, you’re interrupting their day, or even an email you’re interrupting their day.
Connie Kadansky 33:06
What else might you be assuming that is stopping you?
Rosaria Cain 33:09
I don’t know. Maybe I know I have something of quality they need. I absolutely know that, but maybe I haven’t qualified the person I’m looking at properly. I mean, you can spend a lot of time doing that. When do you know it’s you’re ready to actually make the contact?
Connie Kadansky 33:42
Yes. Okay, so you’re asking yourself a good question. So what are you most assuming that is stopping you from focusing on new business?
Rosaria Cain 33:58
That I’m bothering people.
Connie Kadansky 34:01
Do you think it’s true?
Rosaria Cain 34:05
Well, sometimes I am bothering people, but not all the time, and it’s a numbers game, and while I know that intellectually, when I make the calls, it just feels a little bit embarrassing.
Connie Kadansky 34:26
So do you think it is embarrassing to make those calls?
Rosaria Cain 34:31
I do?
Connie Kadansky 34:32
What are your reasons?
Rosaria Cain 34:34
I don’t know. It just seems like I don’t know, because I love the sales process. Once we get past prospecting, we have a plan, and it actually works quite well, and we have a very good batting average once we get somebody in the first appointment. But getting the person to the first appointment, sourcing somebody completely new. That is where there’s that moment of uncertainty, and I don’t want to bother somebody because they haven’t asked for the phone call, they didn’t reach out, they didn’t reach out to me, and yet I might see that it’s something they need.
Connie Kadansky 35:17
So it’s possibly true that you might be bothering them. What is it that causes that to stop you?
Rosaria Cain 35:27
Fear of rejection.
Connie Kadansky 35:31
Do you think it’s true that it’s fear of rejection?
Rosaria Cain 35:35
Well, I know intellectually, it’s a numbers game, and my first few jobs in media, I always was the new business person, and you just have to let it go and keep trudging through and getting it done, because there will always be some people that just happen to need what you need at that time, and it may be a low percentage, so probably it’s on a good day, 20%. I think the industry standard we used to hear was 10% but on a good day, it might be 20%, so 80% are not going to need what you sell, generally speaking.
Connie Kadansky 36:19
So if you knew that of those 20% that you could build your business, what would change for you?
Rosaria Cain 36:29
I would probably make the calls and I bring in the business. So therefore I should just get over it and make the calls.
Connie Kadansky 36:39
So, yes. So if you knew that by prospecting those 20% that you could build your business, what would you do next?
Rosaria Cain 36:51
Make my calls.
Connie Kadansky 36:55
What if you made them an experiment and made them fun?
Rosaria Cain 37:02
Fun? Is one of those words that it just depends on your mindset, but that’s a very good point
Connie Kadansky 37:10
Well, and then you detach from the outcome.
Rosaria Cain 37:12
Right.
Connie Kadansky 37:13
Right? And oftentimes, you hear different things from different people, but the more that we get in alignment, because you just said, you know your value. You know that you know that you know you’ve been in long enough and you have enough background that it has value. And with that, you really pick up the phone and say, This is not about me, it’s about the value that you can create for someone else. And the experiment is, are you calling them at the right time? And then using some techniques, like when you think about a top prospect that you’re thinking of right now, and what is the question that you would ask them? If they said, “I promise you, I will tell you the truth,” what would that question be?
Rosaria Cain 38:10
Have you looked at your website lately? It depends. It depends. Because the one thing I do before I call somebody is I look at their LinkedIn to get a sense of what they comment on and what’s of interest to them. And I look at their website, I look if they’ve done any blogs, and I try to get a sense of what content they’ve put out there and what they’re feeling at the time. So maybe, just maybe, I could find out if they if they have a pain. It’s something that I could ask questions, not ask if they have a pain, but ask questions around it so that they may think they have a pain.
Connie Kadansky 38:51
Yes, and even using a no question. Are you opposed to sharing with me what kind of marketing that you’re really focusing on at this time? Right? Are you opposed to sharing with me? And then people will that’s a no question, and they’ll usually tell you.
Rosaria Cain 39:13
That’s very non threatening. That’s a great idea. I learned that from you, but I forgot it.
Connie Kadansky 39:17
I know those no questions are awesome.
Rosaria Cain 39:20
They are.
Connie Kadansky 39:20
They really are.
Rosaria Cain 39:22
And this is the value people get from coaching, truly. How long do people stay with coaching before they feel that they’ve got this? Or is it a lifelong pursuit?
Connie Kadansky 39:36
Well, I’ve had clients for 15 years, and I meet every other week, and then usually, I mean, if somebody is truly committed to thinking for themselves, where they’re enlightening themselves. I mean, I could even be six sessions, because I’m not telling them anything, they are enlightening themselves. And sometimes people start scaring themselves, and they feel too vulnerable, and so they kind of bail out, and they go, “I’m just gonna do it.” And you know how that goes? It might be a couple days and there’s no consistency.
Rosaria Cain 40:22
No, that makes sense.
Connie Kadansky 40:23
Yeah.
Rosaria Cain 40:24
What’s the longest client you’ve had?
Connie Kadansky 40:28
I think probably 15 years. And then I have people who come and go, like, they’ll go, “Oh, I’m good to go.” and then I won’t hear from them for a few years, and then, “Oh, I need a refresher.”
Rosaria Cain 40:37
I might need a refresher. I’ll be calling you Connie. Do you see any trends in sales that worry you or that you’re excited about? Or are sales just sales and maybe the methods change, but it’s always the same discipline.
Connie Kadansky 40:54
Well, it’s the same discipline. Things change. AI is, for sure, changing things. And you know, in different parts of the country, I mean, I have financial services firms in the South that are generating business through strategic radio advertising that drives people to a dinner. So the firm’s paying for the dinner, they know what they’re doing, and then they have a real nice presentation, and they’re setting appointments and landing there. Okay, so that works in the South. I have other clients in California. No way, no how, no. Nobody is going to go to dinner because they they just have a it just doesn’t work there. So I really believe that it people need to be more visible physically. So if it’s sitting behind a desk, no, no, no, I think people need to be out. They need to be talking to people. They need to be learning. They need to be testing their value proposition. I mean, I always tell people just get to Toastmasters, because they can practice, they can learn, they can test things. But being visible is really important in the marketplace, going to conferences and talking to people. You know what a trend that I really believe, and we’ve all known about this, but I think this will become more and more important, that your prospect is somebody who there’s, it’s not a conflict of interest, but they already have your client as a client, and there is a strategic partnership, so you create those referral sources where people really recognize. So a lot of people have known that about CPAs, like the CPA knows XYZ and trying to develop relationships with a CPA, but think about union out of the box and getting more strategic like that. Does that make sense?
Rosaria Cain 43:03
Makes complete sense. So are you always selling? Is it so ingrained that you can’t help but ask the right questions all the time? Or do you ever go into a quiet place and, you know, meditate.
Connie Kadansky 43:22
I mess up. I mess up sometimes, you know, just the other day, I got a call from a seasoned financial advisor, “Connie. I want to take that assessment.” I’m going, “Okay, good. MasterCard, Visa, American Express?” right? I did not ask him any deeper questions. I forgot about that whole thing because he goes, “I’m ready to take it.” Do you know now or later? I decided not to. My lesson learned is I just took his word for it, and I just thought, “Wow, this is a done deal.” And I could have said, “What are you expecting from this process?” And really emotionally getting him engaged, instead of just thinking it was a transactional sale, when, in reality, I did not serve that guy.
Rosaria Cain 44:12
I don’t know, Connie. I distinctly remember in sales training that they said when a client says yes, be silent. And the one I remember all these things I’ve had, I used to be in corporate America, and so I had lots of training. The one who speaks first loses, don’t speak when they say they’re going to buy, or when you ask the question if they’re going to buy, and don’t, don’t talk. And when they buy, when they do what you just said, take the money and leave. Don’t give them a chance to buy it back.
Connie Kadansky 44:45
Well, I had these American Express- I had everything and but then, and so, you know, I don’t
Rosaria Cain 44:52
I sounds like it was right to me by the conventional sales wisdom I’ve learned through the years.
Connie Kadansky 44:57
But no. I know better, because people buy emotionally and justify logically, he was logically making a decision. I could have done a much better job, but who knows. So, you know, lesson learned, I’m always learning.
Rosaria Cain 45:13
Are you an introvert or what do you call it? An ambivert?
Connie Kadansky 45:16
Ambivert.
Rosaria Cain 45:16
Are you an ambivert?
Connie Kadansky 45:17
Yes.
Rosaria Cain 45:18
Okay.
Connie Kadansky 45:18
Yeah, because I enjoy people. I enjoy people. I get energy, but also I have learned self-reflection. That’s when I advise myself and look at it like, yeah, that was good or mmm no.
Rosaria Cain 45:35
Yeah, that’s great. It’s good to know even you don’t have it right 100% of the time, because I really would have thought you would have because you’ve got me sold. I’ll tell you what, absolutely so I think we have it today. And this was great that you came by to visit on Founder’s Hour. And thank you so much for sharing these words of wisdom.
Connie Kadansky 45:57
Well, thank you for this. Thanks. Rosaria.
Rosaria Cain 46:00
Perfect. Thanks.